How is your relationship?
Take the Relationship Test:
Determine how many of the following statements you would agree with.
1) I’m not getting what I need from our relationship.
2) I am often afraid to have important conversations because they turn into hurtful
3) Our physical intimacy has significantly decreased.
4) I am often criticized for the things I believe, want or feel.
5) I often wonder if we are on the same team.
6) I often feel we don’t really know each other.
“Things are good” If you agreed with two or fewer of the statements, your relationship is probably in good or even great shape. Keep in mind, however, that people and relationships are supposed to change and grow. Of course, you want your relationship to grow in positive ways. Ensuring this requires that you actively appreciate your partner, proactively address areas of concern and make efforts to spend time cultivating the relationship. A trusted, knowledgeable friend, parent, clergy or counselor can suggest ideas to do this. I would be honored to be part of this process with you.
“Warning Signs” If you agreed with 3-4 of the statements, be aware that you are heading into dangerous territory. Though you may consider the relationship reasonably satisfying at this point, the concerns you agreed with above tend to grow more problematic without some intervention. Because the two of you still have strong positive feelings for each other and toward the relationship, this would be an excellent time to see a counselor who can teach you more effective ways to communicate and solve problems. In doing so, you will better understand each other and how to grow a healthy, satisfying, lasting bond. I find my most satisfied clients began at this stage. Please don’t put off getting help.
“Danger, Danger” Finally, if you agreed with 5-6 of the statements, it is time to make changes. Continuing this way is likely to result in either an end to the relationship and/or significant emotional harm to you, your partner or your children. Fortunately, even this situation can be improved with help. You can learn ways to stop the pain and turn your relationship into the one you want. I would be happy to discuss this with you.
Marriage & Communication
Good marriages require a strong commitment and good communication. Too often the communication breaks down leading to hurt, conflict, and distance. My goal is to help couples better understand each other so they may honestly express themselves and respond in healthy ways that build and strengthen their bond.
Using highly effective Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) we work to reduce fears, improve communication and build trust.